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A Message from Linda

December 2, 2011 By
Thank you!

During my first year at high school, I became addicted to cocaine.  My parents responded quickly by sending me off to a rehab centre in the United States, where, I was diagnosed with several mental health issues and a learning disability.   The next four years of my life were spent living in rehabs and psychiatric hospitals, learning how to deal with my emotions, my addiction, my mental illnesses, and my learning disability.

Once back in Toronto I relapsed, and this time since I was an adult my parents kicked me out and cut me off financially.  They felt they had done all they could for me.

Within the first 24 hours of being on the streets I was robbed and beaten.  I had no contact with my family, my friends had abandoned me and I had now lost all of my belongings.  I learned quickly how to fend for myself.  I lived on the streets for three years.  I slept on park benches, or on top of cardboard boxes.  I panhandled for money to afford my addiction and my personal needs.  I was assaulted several times on the streets, but my defining moment was when a cab driver offered to drive me somewhere for free and assaulted me in an alley in the back of the cab.  That is what motivated me to get off the street and to quit drugs.  I had heard about Eva’s Initiatives from the food bank I used.

When I arrived at Eva’s I was handed a key – my very own key to my very own room, where I could close the door and know I was safe.  I looked at the key and started to cry.  This was my first key ever – it meant I had stuff worth protecting, worth locking up – and I had privacy.

I enrolled in Eva’s life skills and employment program which taught me how to save money, how to budget, write a resume, dress and apply for a job.  I was taught how to communicate in a positive manner and, most importantly, through educational assessments, what type of job would be good for me.  Through Eva’s employment placement program I was able to get a job working in a day care where I realized that I wanted to be an early childhood educator.  The work brought me passion and joy, and getting out of bed every day became easier. And they were there to help me access the resources I needed to quit drugs permanently.

Eva’s has taught me how to advocate for myself, that I do not need to self-medicate and that I am strong enough to face any issue. Being a part of the community at Eva’s has allowed me to make some amazing friends who continue to support and encourage me.

I am now registered at Ryerson University in their Early Childhood Program and have my second key — to my own apartment.   My long term goals include becoming a teacher, and owning my own house.

Thanks to the continued support I receive from Eva’s, my relationship with my family is better than ever, and for the first time in my life I am proud of myself, my achievements, and of the person I have become.

Thank you for being there to help support the programs and services I accessed through Eva’s Initiatives. I truly believe it was Eva’s that helped save my life!
Linda
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Mark’s Story

December 1, 2011 By
Mark's Story“Mark”, age four, was out playing with his friends in the Caribbean island he called home. He figured it was about time for dinner so he went to his house where his step father lived. Mark’s mother had previously gone to Canada for work, promising to return—she never did. When he got to the house, the door was locked. He was confused, but happy that he had more time to play with his friends.When he returned a second time, the door was still locked. This time he was starting to feel panicked. A neighbour saw him standing in front of his house and told him his step father had moved away that day—and the neighbour assumed Mark had gone with him. He was crushed.The four-year-old boy walked to his grandmother’s house, only to find out she wouldn’t take him in. He spent four or five days on the streets, alone. Someone finally took him to his aunt’s.“She was shocked her sister did this,” Mark says. His aunt was only about 19-years-old at the time and so she spoke to a Christian family she knew and they told her they would help her raise me.

“My aunt was very poor, but she did the best she could,” he says. “She taught me things, like love, discipline, respect and manners.”

Mark thought of his aunt as his mother, as his mother hadn’t played that role very well. Even before she abandoned her son and left to Canada, she had treated him with abject cruelty. “See this right here?” he asks, pointing to a four inch scar on his right cheek. “She did this to me at a young age.” His mother would also feed his sister and not him.

Fast forward to age 12 and Mark was thriving with his aunt. He’d learned to weld and, by his estimate, he was making a lot of money. “I was making more than teachers,” he beams with pride. He wanted to support his aunt, so he would put all of his money into jars and told her to help herself. “I told her, ‘just leave me some for the ice cream truck.’ I always wanted to work and I always wanted to help,” he says.

It was important to Mark’s aunt that his mother build some kind of relationship with him. His mother called about once a year, but Mark really didn’t feel like talking much to her. At age 16, Mark’s aunt decided to push the issue with her sister and told her she was flying Mark to Canada.

“The only time I ever saw Canada before was on TV and there was always snow.”

Mark arrived at Pearson International Airport, in Toronto, in November, wearing only a T-shirt.

“My mom picked me up at the airport. There was no hug. She said, ‘Oh. Come this way.’”

Mark wanted to return immediately to his aunt and the only home he knew. “I didn’t feel welcome.”

Mark’s mom’s boyfriend, “Louis” treated Mark with more respect than his mother could muster. He hired the youth for $9.50 an hour, doing work under the table for him. His first paycheque was $275 for a week. “I thought, ‘wow! I am rich! In my country I would have made $20 in a day.’”

Mark’s mother told him she needed him to help with money to pay for his landed status. He set off to earn her all she needed. In trying to get more work, he was told he needed a Social Insurance Number, so he set out to get one. In the process of doing so, he found out that there had been no paperwork on his behalf. His mother had been lying to him and gambling his money away.

“I felt used,” he says. He got angry. He went home and confronted his mother and she accused him of being rude.

“She kicked me out (in the cold) with a light sweater.” Mark’s sister let him back in and he went to sleep. Later he was awakened to someone stirring him from his sleep. His mother had called the police on him.

The police took him to Bathurst and Finch and dropped him off. He had nowhere to go, so he returned to the building his mother lived in, buzzed some random numbers and someone let him in—he hid in the elevator room.

The next day he got up and went to school. At lunch, he came home and the babysitter let him in to shower. Mark tried this for a couple of days but was eventually caught by his mother, who again called police. This time the police took him to Eva’s Place. “I didn’t even know what a shelter was.” Place became home and family for Mark from age 16 to age 18, where he attempted another reconciliation with his mother.

This attempt with his mother didn’t go any better than previous attempts. His mother wouldn’t allow him to eat any of her food. She would feed his sister and her boyfriend, but not him. She would shower the boyfriend with gifts and clothing. “His needs mattered.”

Mark got frustrated with his mother and asked her how she could put her boyfriend ahead of her own kids? “Her boyfriend even said that was how he felt, too.”

The final straw for Mark was when his mother told him she loved his sister more than him. “I was killing myself trying to please her and to help. She took advantage of me.”

Mark returned to Place. “It was better there.”

Mark’s sister was soon kicked out by his mother, too, and she was placed in Foster Care in a group home. “She told my sister that she was a whore and that we’d never make it in this country. My sister is now in college,” he says proudly.

One of Mark’s proudest achievements is that he never turned to alcohol and drugs. “I want to be a good example for my children,” he explains.

Mark went on to finish high school and got a job in a print shop. “I didn’t want to be on welfare. I just wanted to work.”

He is waiting on final word on his resident status and dreams of the future. “I always wanted to be an actor. I’ve done a few commercials.” Mark also plays drums, steel drums and keyboards. “I sing, too,” he says and adds that he is a break dancer. “I don’t want to do it for money or fame; I just want to do it because I love it.”

Mark says if he did make money and become famous he would use it to help other young people like him. “I want to tell youths in shelters that I made it—anything is possible.”

Filed Under: Fall 2011, Newsletter Youth Spotlight, Newsletter Youth Stories, Newsletters, Stories Tagged With: , , , , , ,

A mother’s struggle to help her son

November 30, 2011 By

Sally noticed that her son had trouble processing information from the time he was very young. Sam had difficulty following lessons at school, but it wasn’t until grade 5 that he was tested and diagnosed with ADD. At home, his father tried to discipline his uncooperative son through punishment and often through public humiliation. This created a lot of tension in Sally’s marriage because she vehemently disagreed with her husband’s tactics. While her husband viewed Sam as a “bad boy”, Sally knew the problem ran much deeper:

“My son is not a social person. He has difficulty forming relationships and school wasn’t easy for him. This has carried on into his adult life. He has difficulty maintaining jobs and interacting with people. I always knew there was something else and I refused to give up until I got the answer.

My husband didn’t believe in seeking professional help. We had two ways of parenting and this caused a lot of conflict between us. Eventually, my son got older and started defending himself. The problems between them went on for years and years. Sam skipped school, missed his curfew, had a relationship with a girl who my husband didn’t approve of…Then, my husband kicked him out of the house. I never forgave my husband for doing what he did.

Sam knew where I was working so he would come by in the morning and I would give him breakfast, let him wash up, and sometimes I would give him money. I was afraid to bring him home. If my husband found him, he would have beaten him and that would spill over into him emotionally abusing me and my daughter. I knew I had to find an alternative to help Sam.

My son was feeling resentful towards me because I didn’t prevent this situation from happening. But I’m a resourceful parent, so I looked around for the best place to stay for him. I was referred to Eva’s and I met Nancy [Family Reconnect counselor]. She provided me with so much support and Sam and I started counseling – separately and together. The psychiatrist at Eva’s diagnosed Sam with severe learning and comprehension problems. The diagnosis gave me reassurance…I finally understood my son’s anger. It wasn’t that he wanted to hurt someone, it’s that he didn’t have control over it. Through Nancy’s support, Sam gained confidence to stay in school and get his life back.

Sam moved back home and my marriage ended. My husband made me choose between him and my son. I chose my son and I don’t regret my choice. I lost just about everything, but I don’t begrudge it. Without Eva’s I don’t know how successful I would have been in keeping it all together. After experiencing something so horrible, it remains the most positive thing in our lives. Eva’s was a gift that was given to me. Not everyone has this type of gift in their back pocket.”

Sam married the same girlfriend he was dating when he was kicked out of the house and they have two kids. Sally works as an educational assistant for children with special needs and is the sole provider for her teenage daughter. 

Filed Under: Reconnect Toolkit, Stories Tagged With: , ,

Jesse: “Eva’s saved my life”

November 30, 2011 By

Jesse left a home characterized by physical and emotional abuse. He was the eldest child and his mother directed most of her anger towards him. She too had been abused as a child and was repeating what she knew. She always told him that he should leave home when he turned 16, so he did:

“I remember that moment. I guess I just snapped and started crying and pounding the crap out of my pillow. The whole idea about leaving home wasn’t my idea. It came from my mum. I lost scholarships, lost support from coaches — I lost it because I lost my mind.

I was a really good kid, a nerd who was into sports. But coming home was hell. The girl I was dating at the time, my first real girlfriend, influenced me. Her family life was totally different. She kept saying: ‘I don’t want you to live there anymore.’ So I lived on friends’ couches, some of their parents gave me rooms. But after a couple of months I was always told to find somewhere else to stay. I had a job and was trying to make money and trying to go to school. I didn’t realize that I needed to go out of my way to show appreciation to them for having me.

Eventually I stopped going to class and worked at a hotel. I had a basement apartment and paid rent but I blew through money faster than I was making it. I didn’t really know how to manage money or how to take care of myself. Then I quit my job — a terrible decision — and spent some time without a home. I slept in the library, in washrooms, sometimes I stayed up all night.

Eventually I found out about Eva’s Place and I stayed there for two years. Eva’s place saved my life. In a world where I couldn’t find love, suddenly it was there. Before I didn’t really open up to anybody but Nancy [a Family Reconnect counselor] eventually built a rapport with me. We started talking a lot. I trusted her judgment. Today she’s like my second mother.

Nancy asked if I wanted to discuss getting connected to my family again. My initial answer was ‘hell no’, but when my mum had another baby I gave Nancy permission to tell them where I was. She took me to the hospital when my brother was born. She talked to my mum and stepfather on the phone and relayed messages between us. That was helpful.

My sister and I are really tight. She’s getting married this summer. I’m extremely tight with all my siblings. I love them to death. They all sleep over once a month. Mum is OK with that. I’m sure she feels left out, but she’s happy that I have good relations with them. I thought I had a rough upbringing, but she had it really rough. I can’t expect her to be different. She did the best she could.”

Jesse came two credits short of finishing high school. After that, he worked in a restaurant and was a successful played poker for many years, but realized there were no good role models and it wasn’t a good lifestyle for him. He recently started working as a day trader and feels that it’s a good fit for him. He lives in a condo with a high school friend and turns 28 this month. 

Filed Under: Reconnect Toolkit, Stories Tagged With: ,

Managing family tensions in an immigrant household

November 30, 2011 By

Lisa immigrated to Canada from Asia with her parents at age ten. The move transformed their lives. In a story that is all too familiar with immigrants, Lisa felt disconnected from her parents who clung to traditional values, and alienated from her peers. She felt that her parents didn’t recognize her achievements or validate her as a person. In what she describes as “a misguided act of rebellion that lasted over five years”, Lisa formed ties with other youth who were headed for delinquency. Luckily, she realized that she had to make changes in her life and sought the help of Eva’s Family Reconnect Program. She tells her story in the Family Matters report:

“I didn’t start living with my parents until I was six years old, because both my parents had to work, so I lived with my grandmother…The main struggle when I was 13 or 14, really with my father, was a cultural clash. It was really difficult for me and even though I had really high grades at school they were so hard on me.

The conflict started getting physical and I actually got involved with child services…My dad was charged with, I guess, ‘assault’, but later the charges were withdrawn because I retracted my statement. My parents were just typical Asian parents and…they were just destroying me.

When I was in grade 11, I realized I just couldn’t be at home. I started researching shelters and Eva’s was the only one that was really helpful…I left a message with a counselor and she took me in the next day. The situation at home was really hostile and we worked out strategies of how to deal with it. So like instead of retaliating, I retreated to my room and chilled out. My parents aren’t really big believers in counseling. Being Asian, family matters are private, you don’t wash your dirty laundry in public…so I did the counseling myself but learned how to deal with a situation that I knew was headed for the street. I learned that although I can’t live with them ever…I’m letting go of the ego and the anger and realizing that sometimes they may have been right and I’m not always the victim.”

During two years of counseling and with support from Eva’s staff, Lisa turned her life around. She re-discovered her love of art and began painting using an ink brush. With this renewed confidence, her academics excelled. She graduated high school with honours and received a major national scholarship to attend any university in Canada. She is currently studying Psychology in a different province and hopes to become a Clinical Psychologist. She always credits Eva’s for her success saying, “all it takes is one person to believe that you can be something.” 

Filed Under: Reconnect Toolkit, Stories Tagged With: , , ,

A message from Stacey

November 28, 2011 By

Thank You! For the best Christmas present I could ever wish for.

What I remember about my childhood started in Brantford, Ontario. I lived with my parents in a nice house with a garage that had a basketball hoop on the side and a big backyard with a swing and a sandbox. I remember feeling safe there.

Then when I was 8 my dad died. When I was 10 my mom was diagnosed with severe depression and I was moved in to my first foster home. I realize now that I was very angry, scared and lonely. I lashed out at people who tried to help me. By the time I turned 17 I had lived with 5 foster families, I’d barely finished grade 10 and I was signing myself out of the child welfare system, figuring I could manage much better on my own. Well, a bad attitude and a grade ten education don’t get you very far and so before long I was among the 10,000 homeless youth in Toronto.

From sleeping rough to a few nights on a friend’s couch and after moving from one shelter to another I was referred to Eva’s Initiatives. I’d heard about it from others but it sounded too good to be true.

I arrived last year in the middle of December with everything I owned on my back. Kari, a youth counsellor met with me. She asked me some questions, filled out some forms and then welcomed me to my new home at Phoenix. I gathered up my few belongings and followed Kari. She led me to what would be my own room in a shared townhouse. And that’s when it happened.

She handed me my own key, to my own room where I could leave my things, where I could close the door and know that I was safe. I looked at the key and I started to cry. This was my first key ever. This meant that I had something worth protecting, worth locking up and I have privacy if I wanted it.This was my best Christmas gift ever.

Since last December I have enrolled in a GED program to get the credits I need to qualify for college. I helped to plant and care for our community vegetable garden. I’ve made friends and I now know that nobody can make it on their own. We all need help sometimes. I am so grateful that Eva’s was there to help me.

In two weeks I will get my second key. This one will be for the front door of my new home —a shared house with two other students. And just in time for Christmas.

Please, if you can, make a donation to Eva’s today. Thank you.

Stacey

Make a donation online or email: donate@evas.ca

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Facing His Issues at Eva’s Satellite

October 5, 2011 By

When Matt first came to Eva’s Satellite he was an alcoholic and heavy substance user with medical and mental health issues. He’d been to many of Toronto’s youth shelters and been asked to leave some of them because of violent behaviour.

While staying at Eva’s Satellite, Matt talked to staff about the issues in his life and gradually became convinced that the staff really cared about him. Their encouragement led him to begin to take his medical appointments seriously. Unfortunately, Matt was arrested and jailed for four months in the middle of his stay. Eva’s Satellite staff visited Matt while he was in jail, talked to him on the phone and were there to support him in court.

Matt has taken the initiative to tackle the problems in his life, identified the programs that can help him and has asked for support. He has worked with New Outlook, the Centre for Addiction & Mental Health and our Harm Reduction Worker to manage his addictions and underlying mental health issues. “Out of all the shelters I’ve been in, I’ve gotten the best support at Eva’s Satellite…I may make some mistakes, but staff are understanding.” Matt now has great hopes and plans for the future.

Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: ,

A Safe Place

October 5, 2011 By

A 20-year-old female arrived at Eva’s Place in early December after arriving in Canada as a refugee only 2 days earlier. She had lived with her mother in Nigeria but when her mother passed away, her father, with whom she had had little contact, appeared and said that she would come to live with him as she was his responsibility. When she arrived in her father’s town she found out that he had arranged a marriage for her and that she was to be circumcised. This is a very painful procedure that is often poorly performed and many females eventually die as a result. She ran away to her Aunt’s in another town and when her father showed up looking for her it was decided that she should flee to Canada.

Upon arrival in Canada she was abandoned at a restaurant by her companion. Luckily, a Good Samaritan took her in for 2 days until she found her way to Eva’s Place.

At Eva’s Place she was connected with our Community Support Worker and Housing Worker. Over a span of 6 weeks they worked both with immigration and a local church that has ties to the African community. Through the church she was introduced to a woman who was willing to have her move into her home. The Housing Worker arranged for assistance to pay rent and got the process rolling with her refugee claim.

She now has a job and is secure in her new home. Her refugee claim is proceeding and she still has contact with Eva’s.

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A New Life Is Born

October 5, 2011 By

Leanne came to Eva’s Place looking for a supportive and caring environment. Two weeks before arriving she had given birth to a daughter, Kaylynne, and the Children’s Aid Society and staff at her group home had decided that Leanne did not have the appropriate skills to parent her child.

At Eva’s Place, Leanne has experienced the freedom and independence needed to grow and expand. With the support of the staff she has gained a self-confidence which has allowed her to believe that anything is possible. Leanne has found housing and successfully completed a Life Skills Program, and has been involved with art/music therapy, anger management, resume writing and Internet training.

It has taken many steps for Leanne to come this far, and the Eva’s Place team has been behind her the whole way. Without these big steps she would not have been able to accomplish all she has. Leanne has managed to do so much with so little, and to support her daughter in many ways that she never thought she could. Leanne believes that being a mother is a very important job, and seeing the smile on Kaylynne’s face and knowing she is a part of her makes her feel that life is worthwhile.

Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: , ,

From Eva’s Phoenix to University

October 5, 2011 By

Iman entered the shelter system after his family moved from Toronto to Vancouver.

Iman was not welcome to move to Vancouver with his family and was left in Toronto to fend for himself. Iman’s family disagreed with his decision to drop out of high school and was not in favor of his lifestyle, which included hanging out with a bad crowd and using drugs.

Iman came to Phoenix at the age of eighteen. While living at Phoenix, Iman finished high school and worked part-time. Iman said, “While living at Phoenix, it was easier to finish high school, there were not as many distractions, the atmosphere at Phoenix made it easier to focus on my goals.” After completing his high school diploma, Iman got help from the Phoenix counselling staff to enter university. Currently, Iman is in his second year at the University of Toronto. He is majoring in Psychology and has two minors: Religion and Philosophy. Upon graduation, Iman plans to enter graduate school and work towards completing a Master in Social Work.

Since leaving Phoenix two years ago, Iman continues to be connected to Phoenix as a peer mentor and chairs the Eva’s Phoenix residents Governance Committee. Peer mentors must be past residents or program participants who have proven their abilities to be successful after exiting from Eva’s Phoenix Housing and Employment programs. Peer mentors are individuals who are interested in assisting young adults to adjust to life at Eva’s Phoenix, and make a successful transition to sustainable housing and employment opportunities.

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Family Reconnect Helps a Youth Return Home

October 5, 2011 By

A 16-year-old woman arrived at Family Reconnect with her parents; she had been on the streets for months, having left home at 15. Attempts to bring her home had been unsuccessful.

Quite unexpectedly she called and wanted to come home. While her parents were elated with the news, too much had occurred and a gradual transition home was needed.

This led them to Eva’s Place. Though she had never before stayed in a shelter, word from her friends was that it was a safe, comfortable place where you were treated with respect. Parents were thrilled about the Family Reconnect Program and the services offered.

Meetings occurred with the family, and eventually the meetings were moved to their home. The family had lived without her for so long and things had changed, so goals were set and plans were laid out for her return. The return home was a careful, slow process, communication had to be re-opened and past issues addressed.

Ultimately, the young woman did return home. She enrolled in school for the fall and began her life at home once again. The Family Reconnect Program remains involved for support, as needed now, the main goal having been achieved with the return home.

Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: , ,

How I Left the Shelter System

October 5, 2011 By

The family I grew up in was upper middle class-until we moved to Canada. After that, we became lower middle class at best; and our, until then reasonably successful family dynamic slowly started to fall apart. Soon after I reached the age of 17, I judged my situation at home unbearable; and two weeks later, I moved out unceremoniously without my parents’ consent or knowledge. This, despite subsequent attempts of mine at reconciliation, seems to have left a permanent rift between me and my mother.

I lived on my own for about two years with varying degrees of success; but eventually ended up in a situation-brought on by an excess of youthful infatuation-that slowly drained me of all I had. I found myself financially ruined and, as a result of my shame over my impoverishment, alienated from all my friends. Soon thereafter, I had made the realization that I needed time to rebuild my life, In the middle of October, I came to my senses and moved from my shared room in an unheated house into Eva’s Place, an emergency youth shelter, and had accepted that I had lost not only of all my money and most of my belongings, but also my friends. All I had left were a few changes of clothes and two books of my once extensive and much beloved library.

At Eva’s Place, I spent some time resting to recover from all the adversity I had experienced; then I started to try to put my life back on track. In a few months, I moved into Eva’s Phoenix, a youth shelter that allows homeless youth semi-independent living while still providing them with the support of a primary support worker on site.

My time at Eva’s Phoenix was eventful: I went through two high school credit courses and two very positive, professionally meaningful jobs-the second of which I still hold. It was also through Eva’s Phoenix that I became involved in a mentorship program. I have three mentors. By profession, one is an accountant, one a banker, and one a lawyer. They are all professionally successful; but, unlike the popular stereotypes of their professions, they are fundamentally good men. As I get to know them closer, I continue seeing more deeply into each of them, and know that they are men whose characters and fortunes are built upon countless lessons they have learned over the course of their life; and each lesson is one that I may yet come to learn from them.

It is perhaps difficult to define what exactly mentorship means, or what it is supposed to be; but I can easily note the most fundamental way in which my mentorship experience made a difference in my life as a homeless youth. It is influence. Though youth living in shelters are in many ways no different than anyone else; a pervasive quality in them is hopelessness. Many, it seems to me, have lost their hope and consequently their drive and inspiration; too many youths though bright, kind, and deserving of so much more simply no longer believe that their life will ever improve. This defeatist thinking is infectious. Time and time again, I myself was beset by doubt as to my own abilities, virtues, and even my very value in society. When one is surrounded by people with no hopes and dreams, one can start to lose one’s own perspective as well.

My mentors’ introduction into my life however introduced a fundamental counter-influence to my occasional bouts of self-doubt. Soon after our first few meetings, I came to realize that my mentors saw something in me. They saw many of the virtues that I always hoped, but often doubted, that I had. They saw opportunities ahead of me. They saw potential in me for achievements that I had stopped allowing myself to even dream about. I also recognized that my mentors were living examples that ought to be followed: three men who have known more needful times before, who have worked and studied hard to earn their place in life and society, who have achieved that most joyous goal of building a family for themselves. My occasional glimpses of their lives filled me with motivation and hope. I saw with my very eyes that success and a measure of happiness in life is entirely possible, and achievable through goal-setting and hard work.

Our regular interactions were of tremendous value to me, as my mentors’ freely given and gratefully accepted wisdom and advice began to guide me in the right direction, even when my instincts might have otherwise led me astray. Among other things, it was in large part due to their support that I was able to move out into my own apartment at the end of my stay at Eva’s Phoenix. Though I had adequate savings and a job in my profession, as my time to move out slowly approached, I suddenly started doubting myself and my security in the world once I leave the shelter system. I actually had all but made up my mind that I would move back into Eva’s Place at the end of my time, and spend a few more months being homeless, until I felt even more secure financially. On our Christmas meeting, I told my mentors about my decision. They could hardly believe what they were hearing. They thought that my choice would needlessly prolong my homelessness. They assured that they were certain that I was more than ready to reclaim my life and my independence; and that my financial and employment standing was certainly enough security for me to be able to do so. Initially I was not fully convinced, but through subsequent conversation and continued support from my mentors; I carried through my belatedly started but successful plan of moving into an apartment of my own.

Today I live in my own bachelor apartment in a high rise at an adequately pleasant area of town. I continue to work at the second job I held during my time at Eva’s Phoenix, and my employer strongly appreciates my work and continues to challenge me in ways that further propel me along my chosen career path. I now look back and think very gratefully of my Christmas meeting with my mentors. I wonder if I would be anywhere near where I am today, had I stayed in the shelter system; or if instead I would have succumbed to hopelessness and self-doubt and let pass the opportunities that were mine for the taking.

To this day, I continue to meet regularly with my mentors, and stay in touch via telephone and email in between meetings. They continue to be a source of both wisdom and inspiration for me. They keep opening my eyes to possibilities that I did not even see before, and guide me along the paths toward realizing them. But first and foremost, they continue to be excellent examples of professional and personal success for me to try to strive for, and thus to continually better myself to the best of my abilities.

My mentorship experience found me promising but broken, and helped me heal and build a life for myself. Imagine what mentorship can do for you…

Roland
Toronto, Ontario

Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: , ,

Motivation

October 5, 2011 By

I want to thank you for all you have done for our son Michael at Eva’s Phoenix. It is far beyond anything we could have imagined. I’m still a little nervous to talk about anything past the training program since we haven’t seen yet how Michael will actually fare in the work world. But I do know that if it wasn’t for Eva’s/Print Shop guidance, support and fabulous training, Michael would never have learned a skill or developed the confidence he now has to go out into the workforce.

We were extremely impressed with the Print Shop when we first had a tour of it with our son, but we had no idea whether Michael would be accepted into the program, or if he would be motivated enough to try to be accepted. Michael has not had success with school and does little to nothing if he’s not motivated. Figuring out what motivates him is of course a challenge. While we of course knew Michael needed some form of training, he wasn’t interested in anything. Therefore, the motivation issue was huge for us/him. What was going to motivate him? Bingo! You figured it out. You paid him for training. I truly don’t think that he would have been motivated to enter the program or stick with the training if it wasn’t for the pay you provided as an incentive. It’s so, so important for people like Michael who don’t see or understand things like the rest of us. It motivated him to get into the program and it motivated him to work hard to stay in the program. And at the end, he finished up with a skill.

My husband and I were really worried when Michael started the program because we knew of the high expectations you have for the trainees. Rightly so, but could our Michael actually get up in the morning and go at the required time? NEVER ever in his 18 years has he gotten up without a fight, and in the past few years he wouldn’t get out of bed until at least noon. We consider it a miracle that Michael made it to class regularly at 7:30 and that once there he worked as hard as he did.

The life skills component of your program was extremely important for Michael too. Michael is not worldly wise and needed the basic kind of information about workplaces, looking for jobs, writing resumes, etc. that your program provided. Though we tried teaching him these types of things, he wasn’t interested because it was all in the abstract.

I also think that while you realistically expected high standards from the trainees, you also understood the challenges people like Michael face (he has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) and the supports they require to achieve any kind of success. You stuck with him, worked out problems as they arose, AND YOU GAVE HIM A CHANCE at something that was real (as opposed to theoretical book-learning), hands-on and of value (skill training as opposed to abstract work).

How can we ever properly thank you? Michael will begin the job you helped him acquire next week. We are of course nervous about how he can and will handle himself in a real workplace, so I’m a little afraid of getting too excited about the job yet until we see how he does. But we never thought Michael would get this far, so who knows what might lie ahead. He’s excited, motivated and skilled. He was none of those six months ago. You clearly developed a program for high-risk youth with a realistic understanding of their needs. By building a training program with such needs in mind, I believe you have given these kids the greatest gift imaginable – a chance to live by the fruit of their own labours. While my fingers are still crossed for Michael and probably will forever be so, he has come further than we ever dreamed because of your program. I am not overstating it by saying we are grateful to you from the bottom of our hearts.

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